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Van Der Waals @ 2011-02-28 18:40
sometimes all i want is to sing a song before falling sleep, to wake up and see the rays of sunshine through my window, to hear the footsteps of Huahua walking in my direction, the smell of omlette from the kitchen, and see him standing there cooking, giving me a tired but beaming smile as i walk in.
you can always dream. this day is so beautiful. you get dressed and he takes the guitar with him. you settle down on the bank of a river, on the grass, and it's still wet from the evening dew. you put your head on his shoulder, and he plays QIng Tian for you, he tells you that he will never say goodbye, and that you should pick a new favorite song. you say that that's all i need to hear, that's all i need. and you fall alseep with a smile on your lips. you hear his heartbeat, so peaceful, but so beautiful, like the sun that's keeping you warm. He tells you how much he misses all the times you've been together, in the dark movie theatre, holding each other's hands. this love is so pure, is cannot take anything less. he misses the times when you took a walk on the soccer field, worrying about being caught. he misses seeing you read his favorite soccer magazine, not even realizing that he's been standing over your shoulder, looking at you, almost cracking into a laugh. he misses the one time when you were standing on a chair to write on the blackboard, and he thought about how he would catch you when you fall, and the millions times when he just stared at you in class instead of listening to the teacher. he misses it when you accidently look back, and then you catch each other in that brief second, something that's enough to keep each other going for the rest of the day, blocking your way on purpose so you'd stop and ask him to move his chair. you teaching him grammar, but the entire time he just thought about how he would kiss you on the cheek when the final exams are over, and winter break is on its way. you miss everything. you remember everything, how can you forget? you keep telling yourself that you have moved on. you have found somebody. somebody better, somebody possible. you won't go far, but you can always dream. you can always dream. |
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Van Der Waals @ 2011-02-28 12:16
so much has happened in the one month that it's inpossible to believe what has passes was indeed just one month. argentina, shanghai, crushes, pledging, the knowns and the unknowns. so much to keep my mind occupied, sometimes helping me sleep with a smile, but other times just making it too painful to fall asleep. however busy it has been, i really need to get my mind off of things, and just focus on the tast at hand. a lot of new relationships have been formed, some of which are truly exciting, some waning, and some just making me so worried that i can barely set my mind on anything. muriel was right, just be confident and everything will work out in your favor. i have, in the past month or so, surprisingly been more confident than i have in a long time, and i have accomplished more than i were to imagine. the next couple of days will largely determine my fate, wharton, personal, and career issues, and i need to be focused and concentrated. no more roaming of the mind. no more expectations and imaginations. solid step. i can do this.
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Van Der Waals @ 2009-06-07 20:10
Waking up today only to find myself in fear. I didn't understand it at first. Looking into the mirror, the shadow of fear is genuine. I finally understand, that tomorrow is my judgement day.
All these years now, all the suffering, it all comes down to tomorrow, doesn't it? Last time i was in the same situation three years ago, i couldn't sit still; I did everything but walk on my hands. I was so excited for the definite fate of sweetness. But now? What I might find is a ghastly month that might haunt me forever. I want to just run away. Stay in America. Just. Stay. My life is safe in America, isn't it? Pointless but safe. No more heart breaking no more sensations. Carry on. And on. I can do that. Just let it fade into the backgroud, and the foreground, as I see it now, is an immense gray area. Why do I want to risk yet another chance of getting broken all over again. Some say you have to love with a courage. Give me love or hate. A friend who would go to jail for me or an enemy that would run me with a chariot. Yes. That was what I wanted. Not anymore. People have not been hurt if they were to image enemies provide them entertaining emotions, thinking it spurs them furthur. I won't comment on that except, go out them and get hurt, experience it, then you'd understand how I feel. Frankly, it feels like coming back to U.S. To face the unknown. Or rather, mundane? Mundane, without the one single element. Just that one thing. One person. I await for the judgement. With peace. |
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Van Der Waals @ 2009-03-11 04:35
so..i had to take all the harmonies, so i only had one solo. but it was FUNNNN!!
idk why i was swinging my arm the entire time hahah. i was...a little high tooLOL cuz its the second part of the assembly and we were gonna go to Tyson's and skip school. and the first part was f'ed up. but hope u guys like it!! GO MELISSA!! |
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Van Der Waals @ 2008-07-05 05:19
When you love someone so deeply,
They become your life. It's easy to succumb to overwhelming fears inside. Blindly I imagined I could keep you under glass; Now I understand to hold you, I must open up my hands and watch you rise. I have learned that beauty has to flourish in the light; Wild horses run unbridled, Or their spirit dies. You have given me the courage to be all that I can, And I truly feel your heart will, Lead you back to me when you're ready to land. I can't pretend these tears aren't overflowing steadily; I can't prevent this hurt from almost overtaking me. But I will stand and say goodbye, For you'll never be mine, Until you know the way it feels to fly. Spread your wings and prepare to fly, For you have become a butterfly. Fly abandonedly into the sun. If you should return to me, we truly were meant to be, So spread your wings and fly, Butterfly. |
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